Friday, September 15, 2006

You cannot possibly be as stupid as you act

Stupid: stu‧pid[stoo-pid, styoo‑]
1.lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2.characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: You asked a stupid question.
3.tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: Your speech is stupid.
4.annoying or irritating; troublesome: You're a stupid idiot.

You see, there is no way you can be as stupid as you act because to describe you as stupid would imply you are simply annoying, troublesome, or senseless. Your behavior is so disgustingly unintelligent that it drives me to insanity and the mere idea of their being a "mind" in the brain which rests inside your skull seems outrageous. The things you say marvel me in a most disturbing way as I have never heard someone speak with such incapableness and not even appear as though they contain any respectable smarts. If you were actually as stupid as you behave, I do not imagine that you could walk, talk, or breathe because your actions would suggest that there is not enough sense in your body to keep it alive. Your concept of common sense is comparable to a dog's concept of it being wrong to pee where he likes- it does not exist, and the replies which you have given to such simple questions are answers leading to the clear realization that you are indeed a phenomenal moron. To say you are stupid is to suggest the definition given above, however the manner in which you carry on is so infinitesimally greater in its intensity of the meaning of the word that it's not possible for you to actually be so. You are, in fact, very stupid, but it is not physically possible for you to be as stupid as you act, otherwise you would simply die, and alas you are alive, thus we come to the concluded conclusion, that has upwardly been stated in the statement above: you cannot possibly be as stupid as you act.


This post is neither directed toward or about anyone in particular. and you can take that to the bank.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

What is an American...

We are tragic.
We are neurotic.
We are diverse.We are beautiful.
We are hateful.
We are addicted.
We are humanitarians.
We are loving.
We are divided.
We are vengeful.
We are sick.
We are twisted.
We are fat.
We are troubled.
We are artistic.
We are original.
We are radical.
We are fake.
We are patriotic.
We are mortal...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

What a thrilling story indeed

create found text, at least 6 sentences, 3 authors, using whole or part of sentences of their texts to create one. use footnotes to designate author


The Lord in his infinite mercy direct you in this great work(1) and we may see the wonderful power of God(2). In his most holy and wise providence, hath so disposed of...mankind(3). It is very observable what he profeseth of his affectionate partaking with every member(4). They fell upon their knees and bless the God of Heaven who had brought...the vast and furious ocean, and delivered them...all the perils and miseries thereof(5); and so [they] humbly kiss [his] gracious hands(6) which they digging up, found...filled with corn and...colours(7) beyond thy dull capacity(8). They came home on a Sabbath day...as black as the Devil(9). By him who hath enough to do(10), cast out...a flood for the carrying of...New Englanders...[to] the Devil's territories,...under our feet(11).


1 Cotton Mather
2 Mary Rowlandson
3 John Winthrop
4 John Winthrop
5 William Bradford
6 John Smith
7 William Bradford
8 Anne Bradstreet
9 Mary Rowlandson
10 Anne Bradstreet
11 Cotton Mather

"You want me to take my clothes off and start the revolution?" --Jack Black, Orange County

Thursday, September 07, 2006

A review: Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine stars Steve Carell as Uncle Frank, a Proust scholar who, plagued with depression because of a failed love affair tries to commit suicide and upon his failure to do so, must live with his sister and her family during the recovery period. The movie quickly jumps into the story in which the young girl of the family has won a spot in a child beauty pageant but it's several hundred miles away in California and the only way for her to participate is for the entire family to go in an old VW bus. The greatest part of this film is the characters. The entire family is a mess in the most terrific way. The son doesn't speak because of Friedrich Nietzsche, the grandfather does drugs, the father is pushing a pathetic 9 step program for self improvement and the marriage is faulty. This is the type of film that is morbid and serious but hilarious at the same time, similar to The Royal Tenenbaums, and is similar to the Wes Anderson style of film-making.
The movie expresses many views and messages. The most clear one being explicitly shown at the end during the pageant that they are terrible events and try to make 6 year olds sexy, but in the most deplorable manner in which the parents are living vicariously through their children. The girl who is not as attractive however unknowingly extracts revenge along with the rest of her family. The plot is not complex as it does not need to be because this film is all about the development of the characters and their bizarre relationships with each other and the world around them. The grandfather curses and is dirty, the father is overbearing and forces his 9 step plan down any throat he can get his hands around, however the son, Dwayne, played by the actor who played Klitsy in The Girl Next Door, was by far my favorite character and was possibly the most developed although he never spoke throughout the majority of the film. I'm always impressed by emotion and character depth when they don't speak or their faces aren't visible as in V For Vendetta, starring Natalie Portman who also co-stars in Garden State with Zach Braff which brings me to the point that I think this movie is the next Garden State. Garden State was more of a hit because of its popular faces and incredible soundtrack, but this movie contains a somewhat lesser but still enjoyable soundtrack.

I'd also like to note the possible importance the film-makers may have liked you to notice about the characters' clothing. Dwayne(Paul Dano) changes from only two shirts, from one with a drawing on it to another stating "Jesus Was Wrong" and back to the other. Uncle Frank(Carell) never changes from his light pants and shirt which possibly suggests redemption as he finds new happiness with this dysfunctional family. The grandpa, played by Alan Arkin, who is likely unfamiliar to most by name but you'll recognize him, almost always wears a black leather vest and his black fanny pack holding his drugs, which I can imagine represents his drug habit as always looming over him, something that he is attached to even though he wants it, and the black symbolic of the tragedy to come. I could easily be and likely am looking too deeply into their clothing but sometimes I notice things like that and I find it valid to mention. All in all it is a fantastic film in truth and I urge you all to see it. If ever I can give a 5 to a film I give it now. 5/5


Dwayne uses a pad to speak in the movie and wrote this to Carell upon ariving at their house.


Cheers,
Zarathustra
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